For some reason yesterday I thought I would wake up today and feel miraculously better. And the nausea was fairly under control, but I had such extreme fatigue that I could barely lift my head. The kids had their first swimming lessons today and I really wanted to go watch but I couldn't drag myself out of bed. It was so hard not to be there for such an important day. So while the family was gone, I began daydreaming about all of the things I want to do when I am well. First of all, I can't wait to drink an ice cold glass of milk. I know that's not too far down the road but the neuropathy is definitely a side effect that will last at least a few more days. And I can't wait to drive my car again. Recently before I got sick, I started parking in the parking spots farthest away from the door of whatever store I was at. When we were kids my mom always used to say, "We're lucky we're healthy. We can walk." Interestingly, I began doing that recently and I fully intend to do that again when I am back in action.
While my mind was perusing the possibilities, I decided I would like to try to run a marathon when I am healthy again. I've been talking about it for years and now. And it was always one of the things on my to do list but I always found an excuse to put it off. Maybe because I know it's not going to be the easiest thing to do. But dream big, right? Once my body is cancer free what a better way to celebrate than run a marathon. Maybe the chemo is starting to affect my brain and this is all just crazy talk, I don't know. But what have YOU been putting off????
I hope none of you ever has to do what I am doing. But if you were in my shoes right now, what would be on your to do list and is it important enough to work on it today? Because I would give anything to be where you are right now, healthy and capable of accomplishing my "to do's."
7 comments:
Hi Beth,
Maybe we can all run a marathon as a celebration of your recovery! I promise you I will. Since I have been following your blog it has made me really appreciate what I have. In fact my sister and I were just talking about your blog entry when you said you "really" listened to your kids for the first time. That really put things into perspective for me. It is so hard to understand your suffering right now but I am so thankful that I am getting to know you through your blog. You really are amazing. I will definitely be thinking about what would be on my "to do" list. Take each day at a time. God bless you.
Love, Michelle
What about a 1/2 marathon...can we do that first??? I'm totally in for that. Love you! Juli
Betty,
If you recall, we'd been planning the half-marathon before the cancer reared its ugly head, but we didn't get our shot. I'm in for the half and then the whole. Baby steps. One thought I've entertained, but have been too scared to commit to is to complete an Ironman triathlon. Maybe it's time to dust that idea off again.
Well, the wife put the kibosh on the Ironman. Too much of a time commitment. The old biological clock isn't just ticking, the alarm is going off...but she's giving me the thumbs up on a marathon.
Hi Beth,
I can tell by reading the comments that this blog is totally out of my league. But my daughter, Amy, has run several half marathons and done a Quarter Ironman Triathlon. I'm sure she would run with you.
Beth, it's so great to hear you making plans, that's good news! You simply amaze me, even though you're feeling like (you know what) you are still pushing forward. Good job! And by the way, thanks for reminding me of my mile long "to do" list. I'm going to get going on that right away. You certainly have a way with words. Don't forget to think about writing that book, it's sure to be a best seller. Take care Beth and know that we are thinking of you non-stop. Kiss each other for us, we love you all so much, Auntie Barbara and Auntie Nancy
Hey there, Beth,
Just sitting at the "pacuter" thinking about you and the impact you are having on all of us. The older I get, the less time I seem to have, or perhaps the more I try to pack into my days. Getting to a priority is your message to me. I hit the floor running as usual and just stopped to take a breath. Decided to meditate before proceeding to the garage for my repaired car. I do hold a vision of you healed, laughing, hugging and loving with all that life energy bubbling around you enfolding Steve and k,r,j, your family and everyone important to you.
I'm always available to you if you think you'd like an "energy" treatment some morning. And you know last week all I could think of was making you a pot of Organic Vege Soup. I chuckled that Juli was on the same wave.
Murphy's law would say that she and I would deliver it on the same day and you'd have to have a party with friends to eat it all. Just kidding about the party - that's why God made freezers!!! Much love, hugs, and kisses to you all.
Hey Beth! Today was the first day I have read your blog. I think it is awesome of you to do, for yourself and your family/friends!--I saw your parents sitting next to me at a red light today. I love seeing them around town, your dad chewing on his toothpick! I had hoped to see by now, but can see by reading your blog that you have been having a rough few days. I have no understanding of what chemo is like, but I know you are a brave and strong woman and you will come shining through this(Come on! you took care of 3 babies without alot of extra help-you are amazing!)--Anyway, I hope you are doing ok. I think of you everyday and we(David,kids) say prayers for you often!I'm going to send you an email that I got from my mom that is really cool! Sorry if it is too religious for you.I think it is beautiful! I hope to actually talk to you soon!Love you-Mimi
Post a Comment