Hey everyone. This will be a short update as I don't feel well. Steve and I saw Dr. McNamara before the infusion and all was well. No new info and he seemed pleased that I am recovering well from surgery. Then at 8:30 I went to the infusion room for the chemotherapy. The nurse was really cool and went over side effects again. It was good because we found out that I shouldn't be eating any raw fruits or vegetables since they have a tendency to carry bacteria which will be hard to fight when my white blood cells are low. I love my salads so that news was a bummer.
I felt good going in so the first hour or so of my Oxaliplatin infusion was fine but after that my arm started to hurt a lot. It felt like when your foot falls asleep and you feel pins and needles only this was a little more painful. I finished the infusion at 11:45 and we stopped for a bean burrito on the way home. Steve ran into a liquor store to buy me some room temperature water and I ran into my old partner Angel Guerra. It was great to see him and he said, "Geez, Beth, can't you do anything like a normal person?! You're always doing things the hard way!" I had to laugh at that since he was the one who was shot multiple times during the shooting we were in 7 years ago (and he recovered and is doing fine).
When I got home I went straight to bed. I felt dizzy and my arm hurt. I took a nap and when I woke up, Mom and Dad had left (because I will need them back here when Steve goes to work on Saturday) and I had a splitting headache. In general I feel like total crap. I feel nauseated and I've been crying a lot since I got home. I don't know if it's because I am emotional or I feel sick or both.
This isn't my most positive post, I know. And it turned out to be a little longer than the title suggests. If anyone has any good insight or suggestions, I would love to hear it. Thank you, Susan and Michelle for reading the blog. You girls are awesome! Aunt Dene, I love you to the moon. And Cheryl, I got your voicemail but I feel too crappy to call back. But thank you so much for thinking of me today. Love you guys.
4 comments:
Hi Beth,
I have been thinking about you all day and wondering how you were. I hope you start feeling better very soon. I hope and pray that your first day of chemo is the worst. Just know you are in our thoughts and hearts every minute. Take care and God bless you.
Love, Michelle
Hi Beth, What a tough day for anyone! Seems to be normal that you would cry and be emotional after such an assault to your body and psyche. A dear wise friend advised me, during the most critical time in my life, "to resist nothing". Breathe into the pain, breathe into the feelings, know that you are never alone. Be in the moment and allow. We are all connected in the Spirit and with your heightened awareness, your expanded consciousness, you are being the force of healing for others as you heal yourself. As you are gentle with yourself, you will raise gentleness in another. As you trust, another will trust. Being conscious of this connection raises all to a higher purpose.
I remember a story about you that is pertinent here. Don't know how I heard it but think it came down from your partner a few years ago. It was amazing that when you went into this domestic violent situation, your presence began commanding order almost immediately and it wasn't related to the "suit". You were calm, stately, and asked questions that started peace flowing. In a very minute time frame, everyone was under control. It's an image I will always hold.
There is a Power greater than us, within us, guiding the purpose and will. You can do this, and when you think you cannot, lean on us. We are all here for whatever you need. Smell essential oils, sit in a hot tub of water, light a candle, sing, cry - whatever soothes you - we will be doing all that with you - connected in love.
Hi Beth,
Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. I hope by the time you get this post you will be doing better. You were in our thoughts all day, everyday, but especially yesterday. Thanks for keeping up posted even though you didn't feel well. We sure appreciate hearing from you and getting an updated report of your treatment and condition. We will look forward to hearing from you again soon. And, by the way, thanks for the comment you sent to me, it made me cry. I also can't wait to give you a great big hug. Stay strong and positive, I know you will. With all our love and support, Aunties Barbara and Nancy
Beth,
What a day for you! And your still thinking about the rest of us. I hope by now you're feeling much better. My mom wants me to tell you she was praying for you as well. She's having problems w/ her computer, but said she'd get on your blog once she was back on line. I'm so glad we're able to keep track of you like this. We can laugh, cry, and I have faith that very soon, celebrate with you. God bless.
Love, Susan
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