It's Friday night which means it's almost Saturday and if it's Saturday then the weekend is almost over...
What's wrong with me?!?!?! I have so much anxiety about Monday. On Monday I do chemo #3. I hate chemotherapy. When I feel like this I almost don't know what to do. Do I eat while I can? If I choose to eat, well I just want to eat a bag of Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies. And that's not good for me. But at the same time, thinking about Monday creates the dreaded "anticipatory nausea" so maybe I just want to barf into a bag of Milanos. I DON'T KNOW!!!
I wonder when this gets better. Today I had to take Janie to the doctor for an ear infection. Nurse Carol asked why I wasn't at the kids' Kindergarten physcials and I told her. I was in bed from chemo #2. She was shocked and saddened and offered her support. Her husband, she said, was diagnosed with stage IV Lymphoma when he was 38. It's been about 10 years and he's fine now. We didn't see our normal pediatrician because she's always booked but after we left the office, Carol told Dr. G (our pediatrician) about my situation. Dr. G called me at home to offer her support. She is a breast cancer survivor. She was diagnosed a year ago and she endured 8 rounds of chemotherapy. EIGHT ROUNDS!!!! She's still growing her hair back because last time I saw her (about a month ago) she was still wearing her wig.
I don't want to ruin my good days with thoughts of the bad days ahead but it's almost unavoidable. I might as well have an hourglass in front of me at all times counting down the minutes until Monday. I got my hair trimmed yesterday and my hairdresser wanted to know how I've been doing with the chemo. I told her the smell of my shampoo and conditioner nauseates me terribly during the bad week so she helped me find something less fragrant.
I should've titled this post, "Poor Me!" OK, enough complaining. Like I tell the kids, deep breath...
3 comments:
Hi Beth,
We're thinking about you tonight and hoping that the nausea, et al., will not be so bad this time. When times get tough, just wrap yourself in your prayer shawl and know that round the clock prayers are going on for you, from many people in Naperville. Hopefully, you will feel them surrounding you as you cover up with or wear the shawl. We will especially pray that you will have peace and restful sleep, and that there will be less of those sick feelings. On another note, we loved reading about Steve taking all three kids to their physicals. Any parent can sympathize with him....he deserves a medal. We are thinking of you both.
Ron and Ruth Wills
Hi Beth,
I feel so bad, I just read this post today on Tuesday the 14th. I'm wondering how you're doing and hoping you had a quick recovery from the chemo.
Although you must have been encouraged about Nurse Carol's husband and Dr. G's progression, it's still got to be hard to be in the midst of chemo instead of having it behind you. Our prayers continue to be with you for strength and endurance. We know and you know that it can be accomplished with the help of all who love you and with the inner strength that comes from God. Hold on honey, you're almost there. Love, Auntie Barbara
Hi Beth,
I am just reading this today the
18th. I hope your week went okay and I was so glad to hear you were feeling better. It sounds like you have the same addiction to the treadmill as I do. I swear it clears your mind. If I go more than 2 days in row without it Erik always knows because I am totally on edge. Well Beth I think you are totally amazing with all you are going through and so strong. I will continue praying for you and your family. We love you.
Michelle
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