No Guns in Heaven

Steve's had a couple bad days in a row.  He's been battling extreme fatigue and pretty severe headaches.  He also believes he has three more teeth that are loose, one in particular that he believes might fall out at any moment.  I've always had this fear of my teeth falling out so I can't even imagine how hard that must be for Steven.  My heart just aches for him when he talks about it.  So that whole teeth thing combined with constantly not feeling well starts to wear on him emotionally and that's sometimes harder for him to deal with than the physical difficulties of his situation.  Tonight before bed he got very emotional when thinking about the kids and how this whole thing has affected them.  He also mentioned that he can't believe how close he came to getting killed or injured so badly that he wouldn't have been the same or that he would have required constant care, like from a traumatic brain injury.  In those moments, I know he feels so grateful for his outcome but I think it still messes with his head.  Overcoming the emotional lows is an arduous process.

Tonight at dinner, we said our blessing which prompted an interesting conversation.  Janie wanted to know God's last name.  It's funny how these six year-olds always stump me with the God questions.  So we threw the idea of God's last name around.  Kylie, who usually refers to God as "She," thought God didn't have a last name, which would have been my answer.  God is like Madonna, so well known She only requires one name...no surprise they didn't get the Madonna reference, oh well.  Ryan said that everyone's last name was God's last name which I thought was rather brilliant.  Then later during baths we continued the God conversation and I asked the girls what they thought heaven was like.  Kylie said that the angels in heaven had to go to school and when they played on the playground, it was all made of clouds.  The older angels, of course, had to go to angel high school.  Janie, ever the zealot, said that there are no guns in heaven.  God does not allow guns in heaven.  She asked me if she was right.  I wasn't surprised but maybe a bit bewildered that this would be the one thing she would mention about heaven.  Then I realized how important these conversations are because just like us, these kids are still reeling from what has happened.  They may not act like it but they are just as insecure, overwhelmed and even traumatized as we are.  It's easy to forget that when they act like happy little six year-olds.