Slow Going

Steve had a couple good days in a row and then today he seems to have taken a step backward.  He was tired all day and he slept a lot despite a much better night's sleep last night.  He was a little feverish after his shower this morning but that seems to be pretty typical.  Steve suffered another migraine headache tonight which is a little disconcerting.  I'm hoping that is just because his body has been through so much and it is angry.  But one of the pins that goes from the external pin fixator into his face was tender this morning and the doctor told us to be attentive to any changes in the skin around the pins or any pain which could indicate an infection.  Later in the day the tenderness around the pin subsided so we are in "wait and see" posture.

In between Steve's naps today, he came outside to sit with me for a few minutes on the patio as I was enjoying the beautiful day.  We had the opportunity to talk about the elusive answers to the big question "Why?"  As we talked, I mentioned my last post which I explained I probably shouldn't have posted.  I was afraid it made me sound like a complainer and he had me read it to him.  His eyes watered as I read the words and his head fell.  He's very emotional about what this incident has done our whole family and he has said before that he feels a sense of responsibility for putting us through this.  Of course, I told him how proud we all are of him and I tried my best to reassure him that we are all okay.  Then he told me something that I almost expected to hear all along because of who Steven Jenkins is.  Ever since I've known Steve, he's always been a do-gooder.  Everywhere we go, he attracts people that need help . . . old ladies who have flat tires, kids whose bikes have stopped working because the chain has fallen off, neighbors who have fallen and can't get up (cheezy I know...but true!), dogs that have been hit by cars.  You name it, Steve has helped that person, or dog.  Once he even foiled a vehicle theft in progress on our own street!  Just like all the great superheroes, he's always in the right place at the right time, perfectly and strategically placed so he can help whomever is in need of help.  So when he told me that he wasn't even supposed to be working the day he got shot, that he traded days off, I was at first astonished, then reassured, comforted and inspired.  What an example of "everything happens for a reason."  In that moment, I was reminded of the certainty of the bigger plan.  I know myself well enough to know that I will still ask why.  But hopefully I will just look into the eyes of my hero and know why.  Here he is with his kids tonight before bedtime: