Friday, July 1, 2011

Unwired!!!

Steve is officially unwired!  His jaw was unhooked today at the appointment with Dr. Urata and I could hardly believe it when the doctor told us it was going to happen.  I didn't actually witness the unwiring as the doctor asked the kids and me to leave the room.  I was very happy to oblige because I was rather freaked out about the thought of having to see the inside of Steve's mouth.  However, as it turns out, Steve was unable to open his mouth more than about two millimeters anyway.  Infact, when I first saw him, I thought that maybe the wires didn't come off after all because Steve was still clenching his mouth shut as he talked to me.  But that was only because he simply could not open his mouth.  The doctor explained to Steve that he was going to have to work the muscles open little by little and that would take a long, long time to accomplish.  It certainly wasn't going to happen overnight, let alone one appointment.  Basically, the facial muscles have atrophied and his mouth is essentially frozen shut.  The muscles will relax over time but it will take a lot of rehab and work on Steve's part.  Steve said, "Well I'm one step closer."

Steve is such an optimist and he's been nothing but positive about this whole thing.  I, however, had a whole slew of emotions today, most of them I did not expect.  Don't get me wrong, I am seriously grateful that we're even at this stage, and especially so soon.  But after returning home from the appointment, I felt quite meloncholy.  Later Steve and I discussed how I felt and we compared it to when I underwent chemo.  Chemo sucked for me but for Steve, my caregiver, it was much, much harder on him watching me enduring that.  Well that is exactly how I felt about Steve's situation today.  Even writing this post, I feel like crying for him.  He's been through so much and I guess I hoped that he would be able to open his mouth today and maybe even eat something on the way home.  I just felt so sorry for him.  And then to have lost all those teeth...what a senseless, stupid loss of something so valuable, so very irreplaceable.

I'm feeling better about it now after a little perspective and a few beers at dinner.  I had to laugh at the kids' conversation on the way up to the appointment.  Janie, in her most sincere, 7 year-old way, told Steve he was SO lucky to have lost so many teeth.  The Tooth Fairy was sure to leave him a fortune for all those teeth!  Then Steve explained that all those teeth were lost, he either swallowed them or maybe spit them out somewhere.  He couldn't remember what happened to the teeth.  "That's sad," Janie said.

3 comments:

jaz@octoberfarm said...

happy happy day steve!!! i know how frustrating it is that you can't open your mouth but believe me, you want this to happen gradually. your muscles are so atrophied that if your jaw could open, you would injure them. so, do the exercises and it will eventually happen! you will eat again!!! have a wonderful weekend! joyce

Anonymous said...

Heres hoping that Janie's sadnesses from here on out are only as bad as no teeth for the tooth fairy. (And the same goes for all of you.)

Jenn Wills said...

GREAT NEWS!!!! I was bummed to hear about the atrophy but...it stands to reason that don't use it you lose it. Ugh!! Maybe Steve could write a note to the tooth fairy...when I dropped mine in the fireplace I wrote a note and she delivered...just a thought. :)

Here's praying that you'll gain some muscle strength soon!!!