Love from Mission Area

A post like this one is the reason I do this blog.  I love being able to publicly recognize those who help others and the remarkable and distinguished sworn and civilian employees of LAPD's Mission Division are no exception.  Mission Division hosted a momentous BBQ fundraiser for our family today and it was an amazing day, filled with love and generosity from so many.  Mission Area Senior Lead Officers organized today's event and we felt so honored to be in the presence of such a kind and magnanimous group of people.  They welcomed us with open arms and thanked Steve for his service in their division.  They even graciously took pictures of the event and handed me a CD with the photos on it.  Incidentally, Officer Ayala is a much better photographer than I am!  I think he even photoshopped out my wrinkles... We were also grateful to meet some of the Mission officers who helped save Steven's life on April 4th.  Also making an appearance were Steve's cohorts from K9, and it is always a pleasure to hang out with those guys.

So, on behalf of Steven and my entire family, we say a very humble and grateful THANK YOU to Mission Area officers, civilians, and specifically, the Senior Lead Officers who are clearly virtuosos in their field.  We are overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciation.

As I've done in the past, I will let the photographs speak for themselves...and there are a lot of photos!  Peruse, enjoy, and capture a glimpse of all these beautiful people!!!

    

Happy Father's Day and All Things Are Possible!

I feel so incredibly blessed.  I was fortunate enough to spend this weekend with the most important fathers in my life.  Yesterday, we had an "official" family birthday party for my kids' 7th birthday and we invited all of our local extended family over for a BBQ and swimming.  I couldn't believe how lucky we got with the weather.  For the days leading up to Saturday, the marine layer had been so thick it actually rained and then if it cleared up at all, it was just for an hour or so in the afternoon.  But yesterday around 10:30 in the morning, the sun started peeking through and by noon, there was hardly a cloud in the sky.  The temperature was perfect and it turned out to be a beautiful day.  By 3:00 in the afternoon, the guests arrived and the kids and their cousins swam in the pool, had a water gun fight, and snacked on watermelon wedges while sitting on their towels poolside.

We grilled hamburgers and hotdogs and my talented and dear photographer sister snapped father photos to add to our tangible memories of the perfect day.  After birthday cake, we made a champagne toast to the most important men in our lives and how grateful we were that we were all together to celebrate.  My favorite part of the day was when the swimming, the meal, the birthday celebration, and all the father's day festivities were all but over and I finally had a chance to sit down and enjoy a drink with my husband and my dad. 

 

I've learned a lot from my dad over the years:  1.  Check the oil in your car regularly.  2.  Keep your eye on the ball.  3.  Bring your own bottle of wine into the restaurant when you can, it's much cheaper.   I could go on and on about the practical things.  But as we sat there talking, my dad said something he's said a lot throughout the years, a "Dadism" if you will.  And it's something so much more important than any of the practical things he's taught me.  This year it dawned on me that it has new meaning to me as an adult and especially in light of recent events.  So, these are my dad's words of wisdom:  "All things are possible."  He's so right.  Anything is possible, and not in a sarcastic way.  I think I've finally realized lately what that means.  If we just relax and open ourselves to the possibilities, knowing that right where we are in this moment is the perfect place for us to be, then all things ARE possible.  I had been so worried about the weather and the likelihood that the marine layer would ruin the kids' party.  But then I decided that instead I would relax, enjoy the day, and be open for anything.  Lo and behold, the weather was perfect.

Dad, Happy Father's Day!  I love you!

To my wonderful husband, thank you for fighting to be here.  I couldn't do this without you.  You are my everything.  Happy father's day and I love you!

One thing I love about this blog is the input from reader comments.  So I'm curious, what words of wisdom have you received from your Dad?  Mark Geiger, I know you're out there somewhere and I'm sure you have some of your own hysterical words of wisdom.  I would love to hear from anyone who wants to honor their Dad by contributing in the comments any words of wisdom.

Hidden Treasures

It took me all weekend to break out of the funk I was in after the doctor's appointment Steve had with Dr. Urata late Friday.  And I just had a moment of absolute validation for why I write this blog when I read the latest comment on the last post, "Heroes of Station 91."  More about that later.

Last Friday, we drove to Glendale, through Friday afternoon LA traffic and with kids in tow, for a 4:15 appointment with Dr. Urata.  I had high hopes for the appointment as I thought there was a very good possibility that Steve would have his jaw unwired at that appointment.  At the very least, I anticipated scheduling a doctor's appointment in the very near future for Steve to have his jaw unwired.  And by "near future" I was thinking like maybe a week or less.  Man was I wrong.

Dr. Urata reviewed Steve's xray from a few weeks ago.  He didn't order another one as he thought it was a little too soon for another xray.  He said things are going as well as they can be going at this point which is great news.  However, Dr. Urata wanted to keep Steve's jaw wired for at least another three to four more weeks.  Then he said that after Steve has his jaw unwired, he will keep the external pin fixator on for another two to three months.  After that, it's just wait and see to monitor how the bone is healing.  It will be a long time (6 to 8 months) before they reevaluate and decide if and when they will do a bone graft.  Finally, a long, long time from now, they will decide when they will start working on dental implants.

After the appointment, Steve and I were both feeling pretty deflated, our hope somewhat diminished.  I think for some reason, it finally settled into our conciousness that this is going to be a very long and dilatory process.  Steve, ever the optimist, kept saying, "I'm just so happy I'm alive."  I, on the other hand, had a hard time hiding my disappointment and regret for Steve having to endure this.  I've watched Steve closely as we all sit down to dinner with food on our plates and he has a glass of whatever he can drink through a straw.  And I've listened to his stomach growling in bed at night when he's asleep but never once has he complained.  Every time I've made him another bowl of soup and served it to him with a heaping side of apology, I've thought to myself that his jaw would be unwired soon and I could finally serve him a decent meal.  Then Dr. Urata dealt us the blow of having to wait four more weeks.  My frustration soon gave way to my own flashbacks and the ensuing hemorrage of grief and stress and trauma this incident has caused for all of us.

I stayed away from the blog for most of the weekend as I just didn't have it in me to write.  Finally today I logged back in and there before me was a gracious, hearfelt and beautifully composed comment from Fire Capt. Darby.  After reading the comment, my hope and positivity resurfaced and I realized that Steve is absolutely right, he is alive and healthy and my disappointment is just a matter of mindset.  In the meantime, the kids started guitar lessons today and when the instructor asked the kids if they were going to work hard practicing, Janie emphatically remarked, "My mom said that we never ever quit!"  I said that?!  I should have paid more attention to this fortune I got at dinner over the weekend.  The comments from my daughter and Capt. Darby were my hidden treasures:

    

Heroes of Station 91

I have my work cut out for me with this post.  Out of absolute gratitude, it is my personal commitment to myself and all of you to honor some very special people that we had the opportunity to meet with today.  Steve had a reunion with the remarkable firefighters from Los Angeles Fire Department Station 91 and the kids and I, along with members of the LAPD, were there with him.  These firefighters are our heroes, the men who saved Steve's life in the early morning hours of April 4th.

This was a reunion that Steve had been looking forward to from the moment he awoke from the drug induced coma.  Not only did Steve want to personally thank them for saving his life, but he also had many questions for them.  There were so many missing pieces in this story of survival and Steve wanted desperately to put the puzzle together.  When we arrived, the firefighters were waiting for us.  What an omnipotent arrangement of circumstances and events to bring us to this moment:

After Steve presented the firefighters with a plaque for their heroic efforts in saving his life, we went inside the firehouse so Steve could hear their version of the events that morning.  We sat down at their table in the kitchen.  Their firehouse was warm and welcoming with a generous and kind energy to it.  The biggest question Steve and I both had for them was who made the decision for the firefighters to stay on scene after their call and why?  We know they could have easily left after they medically treated the female domestic violence victim and there was really no reason for them to stay as their job was done.  But as we found out, Capt. Donald Darby made the decision to stay on scene as K-9 went on their search for the suspect and we wanted to know what it was about those circumstances that guided him to make the decisions he did.  He said that his guys were tired and cold and not all that happy about staying but he decided that they should stay anyway.  Exactly what in him convinced him to make that decision, he cannot say.  It was just the decision he made.  I call it Divine guidance.  Here's Capt. Darby speaking to us:

   
Then Steve spoke with the paramedics who treated and transported him.  Each one humbly recalled their part and explained to Steve what they saw and did.  With true admiration, we listened to these heroes as they matter-of-factly described the events.  They explained that they heard three shots ring out and they were told by the incident commander that an officer had been shot.  Disregarding their own safety, these amazing men drove toward the sound of the gunfire, not knowing what they were driving into.

They drove their rescue ambulance toward Steve's location and they saw Steve and Sgt. Taylor walking toward them.  They stopped next to Sgt. Taylor who told them Steve was the one who had been shot.  They went to Steve who then dropped to his knees and they immediately started working on him.  Instead of stripping off Steve's gear, they quickly loaded him on a gurney and began making their way to the hospital.  There were three paramedics and one firefighter in the back of the rescue ambulance with Steve.  Capt. Darby stayed on scene.  While en route to the hospital, the paramedics stripped Steve's gear off and noticed that the chest injury was squirting blood and Steve's shirt was saturated.  They applied pressure, started an IV and notified the hospital to let them know they were coming.  One of the firefighters asked Steve how many times he had been shot and Steve was coherent enough to tell them exactly where he had been shot and how many times.  From the time the firefighters reached Steve to the time he got to the hospital, approximately 10 minutes had elapsed.  After arriving at the hospital, they stayed as long as they could.  One of the firefighters felt it was ok to leave Steve when he saw that Steve's vital signs were strong. 

We are so very grateful to the selfless, altruistic, and benevolent men of Station 91 for their bravery and sacrifice.  With all our hearts, we thank you for everything you did and for sharing your stories with us today.

After speaking with the crew, the kids got to take a tour of the firehouse and the fire engine.  They tried on some fire fighting gear and then went for a ride in the fire engine.  What an incredible opportunity for all of us.  It was just an amazing day.  While standing outside, one of the firefighters approached me and simply and poignantly stated, "It wasn't his time to go."

Steve and I would like to lovingly and gratefully recognize the following firefighters, as they, and all firefighters, are truly American Heroes:

Captain Donald Darby, Firefighter David Johnson, Firefighter Christopher Horst, Firefighter Robert Ladd, Firefighter Daniel Liberto, and Firefighter Shane Hirsch

    

Happy Birthday!

Today was a monumental day for us in many ways but specifically, it was the kids' birthday!  Every year on this day, I reflect back on the first few years of my kids' lives and sometimes I can hardly believe how far we've come.   This year was especially no exception.  On the contrary, we had so much more to celebrate this year and I found myself running the gamut of emotions almost all day long. 

We started the day by going to church and the kids brought doughnuts to youth church to celebrate with their friends there.  After church, we had lunch and then went to pick up the kids' birthday gifts:  NEW BIKES!!!  Little beach cruisers.  They were very surprised and excited.  It was so fun to watch the genuine thrill in their eyes and hear the enjoyment and adventure in their voices.  While at the bike store, I couldn't help thinking how devastating it would have been if Steve wouldn't have been there with us.  So then I was overwhelmed by a wave of gratitude for exactly what life is and exactly what it is not.  It's perfect, every triumph and every hurdle.

After the bike store, we picked up a cake and went home.  I cleaned Steve's pins and then the kids and I rode our bikes around a bit and enjoyed every minute.  After that I took a little break and then decided to start dinner which I decided was going to be one of Ryan's favorites, tuna casserole.  I asked the girls what they wanted for dinner but they didn't care what we had.  As I was preparing dinner, I got lost in my thoughts again.  I couldn't help thinking about how much Steve and I have accomplished together.  I was particularly thinking that we've created something so special, an amazing family.  These kids are shaping up to be remarkable little human beings, overflowing with love and compassion for others.

As I made dinner, I cried tears of joy thinking of the last seven years with the kids.  Steve walked in the kitchen as I was finishing putting the casserole in the dish to place in the oven.  For a split second I thought to myself that tuna casserole is so simple, not many ingredients, very quick and easy.  I thought, geez, I should make this more often.  I popped the casserole in the oven and voila!  Thirty minutes later dinner was ready.  Not too shabby for someone who doesn't get very creative in the kitchen.  We sat down to eat, the kids with tuna casserole and steamed broccoli on their plates, Steve with his soup, and I with my plant based version of a meal.  We said the blessing and of course, I cried again as we thanked God for our children, our perfect health, and all our blessings.  As we ate, I looked around and watched the kids picking at their food and then something dawned on me.  I started to laugh and laugh.  They all wanted to know what I was laughing about.  My lovely, perfectly simple-to-make tuna casserole was just casserole...I forgot to add the tuna.  Awww crap!  Well, at least the cake was perfectly store bought... 

   

No More Feeding Tube

It's been a good week.  Steve had a doctor's appointment with Dr. Hanpeter on Tuesday and it was a celebratory appointment.  Dr. Hanpeter removed Steve's feeding tube...YAY!  He told Steve it would hurt a lot and Steve didn't even flinch.  So the doctor told Steve he thought Steve had a high pain tolerance which made Steve really proud.  For Steve, having the feeding tube removed was one more indubitable step toward getting well.  Although he has a long road ahead with his jaw reconstruction, he is feeling very positive.  For now, Dr. Hanpeter continues to monitor Steve's blood as he is still on Coumadin which Steve is taking so the blood clot in his chest doesn't get any bigger and also to assist the smaller veins which are now compensating for the obliterated subclavian vein.  But Dr. Hanpeter will likely not see Steve for any more follow up appointments since he has done so well.  That made the appointment with Dr. Hanpeter even more special.  Steve thanked Dr. Hanpeter for saving his life but how do you thank someone for saving your life?  There aren't any words to really express something like that.  Regardless, Steve shook the doctor's hand and we walked out of the office feeling a mixture of emotions:  joyful, relieved, sentimental.  What a way to end a relationship with someone who became such an important figure in our lives in such a turbulent and short amount of time.  Dr. Hanpeter will always be our hero.

I also want to address a comment that was made on the last post where an anonymous person asked how the Los Angeles Police Department was treating me in regard to my time at work (good question and thank you for your interest).  I would just like to publicly say that the Department has been extremely good to us and very fair about my time.  The command staff understands that Steve is absolutely my first priority and he requires my undivided attention and assistance with his care which includes, among many other things, multiple doctors appointments as well constant cleaning and care of the pins of his external pin fixator.  It's difficult to find the words to express my sincere gratitude to the Los Angeles Police Department, in particular Metropolitan Division and 77th Division for their generosity, kindness and understanding.  To the LAPD and all of its command staff, officers and civilian employees, I say a very sincere and heartfelt THANK YOU.  Both Steven and I have never been more proud to be Los Angeles Police Officers.  The LAPD truly is the greatest law enforcement organization in the world.