Still Don't Know Much

I had my doctor appointment with Dr. McNamara at the City of Hope on Wednesday. He seemed very smart and much more knowledgeable about cancer than any of the other doctors we have seen. However, because it was my first visit with him, he is still familiarizing himself with my case. Because of that, we still don't have many answers. Dr. McNamara ordered a PET scan which will show all of the places in my body that I have cancer. I went Thursday for that scan and I see Dr. McNamara again on Tuesday for the results.

I felt frustrated after my appointment with Dr. McNamara because I had hoped that he would tell me I would undergo chemotherapy and then everything would be ok. But instead he said that I would likely endure more surgery because surgery is the "gold standard" for treating cancer. The goal is to eliminate my body of all cancer which truly can only be achieved through surgery. But the surgery I will require will be difficult at best due to the proximity of the mass to important things like the aorta and spinal chord. The surgery itself would have to be performed by a team of "virtuoso" surgeons. Additionally, Dr. McNamara said it was rare that colon cancer would metastasize to the abdominal lymph nodes near the aorta. They likely see that in other types of cancers including testicular cancer and ovarian cancer. So he really doesn't know quite what we are dealing with yet until he sees more test results. That was troubling to me. But ultimately Dr. McNamara said that he would do everything humanly possible to see that I overcome this cancer. That was reassuring.

I find myself in a positive place despite the uncertainty of my situation. Today I scheduled appointments with an acupuncturist and a nutritionist. I am determined to use every available weapon in this battle. And I think part of determining what weapons to use in my arsenal requires me to take a long hard look into my life. I accept that if I can recognize my weaknesses and shortcomings, I am more likely to fix them. For one thing, I know I need to drink more water and that is just the beginning.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I've always loved this time of year but this year is different. It feels much more real and exciting this year than ever before. I am going to take the opportunity to recognize all the gifts I have been given. I am filled with gratitude and love and I wish you all the same. Happy Valentine's Day!!! My love to you all...