Thank you to all who read the last post and prayed for Steve to find peace. I went home earlier to see the kids, bathe them and tuck them in for the night and when I returned, Steven was finally resting more comfortably than I'd seen him all day. And now it's 12:30 am and I am the only one in his room and it is quiet. He's resting peacefully and has been since 11:30. I love being able to sit here by myself and watch him sleep. There's something almost normal and reassuring in this quiet time when it's just the two of us...it's familiar. I miss him so much.
I'm staying all night so I can see the doctor when he comes in early in the morning. Tomorrow we are going to try to keep Steven as calm and rested as possible as his first jaw reconstruction surgery is on Monday. Dr. Urata, Dr. Hammoudeh and the team are going to set the pieces of the shattered jaw in place and wire his jaw shut. He will also have what is called an external fixator keeping his jaw in place. I will post more about the surgery when I know more specific details.
I would like to say a very special thank you to my sister, Juli, for the vegan meals and Jennifer Grasso who gave me a bagful of vegan treats which are going to keep me snacking all night long. This is like the old days (2+ years ago) when I was working morning watch. I haven't stayed up all night in over 2 years!!! I hope I can last...
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Grateful for the Unending Support
My family and I are so grateful to everyone for the amazing support we've received from so many people. I find myself being constantly overwhelmed and humbled by the stories of friends, neighbors and even complete strangers who have offered to help in countless ways. The meals, blood donations, donations of all kinds, babysitting and prayer support are just of few of the hundreds of ways people have stepped forward to help. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all.
Today has been a very rough day for Steven. He is becoming more and more alert as the doctor has decreased the amount of sedation. Because of that, Steven is obviously feeling more pain and he is very emotional. I have continued to tell him that he is in the hospital and is surrounded by love and healing energy. It finally dawned on me after talking to his mom that maybe I should tell him exactly what happened to him and why he is in the hospital. So the last time he woke up and had a look of absolute pain and anguish on his face, I said to him, "Babe, you're in the hospital because you got shot at work." Steve raised his eyebrows and the anguished look was replaced by a look of complete surprise as if he was saying, "REALLY?!?! Holy crap!!!" At that point I realized that this was probably the first time he kind of understood what was going on. Then I started to explain where he had been shot and what his injuries were. I mentioned that there was no need to worry about anything and that my parents were taking care of the kids and he started to cry. It's very hard even thinking about it as I know how deeply he feels the pain of being away from them. But I explained to him that this is all temporary and that he was going to make a full recovery.
For those who are praying, please pray that he finds peace, peace with his situation, peace with the healing process, and peace with his temporary absence from his children.
Today has been a very rough day for Steven. He is becoming more and more alert as the doctor has decreased the amount of sedation. Because of that, Steven is obviously feeling more pain and he is very emotional. I have continued to tell him that he is in the hospital and is surrounded by love and healing energy. It finally dawned on me after talking to his mom that maybe I should tell him exactly what happened to him and why he is in the hospital. So the last time he woke up and had a look of absolute pain and anguish on his face, I said to him, "Babe, you're in the hospital because you got shot at work." Steve raised his eyebrows and the anguished look was replaced by a look of complete surprise as if he was saying, "REALLY?!?! Holy crap!!!" At that point I realized that this was probably the first time he kind of understood what was going on. Then I started to explain where he had been shot and what his injuries were. I mentioned that there was no need to worry about anything and that my parents were taking care of the kids and he started to cry. It's very hard even thinking about it as I know how deeply he feels the pain of being away from them. But I explained to him that this is all temporary and that he was going to make a full recovery.
For those who are praying, please pray that he finds peace, peace with his situation, peace with the healing process, and peace with his temporary absence from his children.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Good Day Today
I feel very positive about Steven's progress today. Dr. Hanpeter came in a little after noon to perform another broncoscopy and to insert Steve's feeding tube. According to the doctor, the lungs looked better than expected which is significant because he is monitoring Steve's lungs very closely for any signs of pneumonia. Apparently, pneumonia is common (happens in 40% of cases) when there has been blood in the lungs because the blood is food for bacteria. Also, since the sedation medication has been scaled back a little bit, Steve has been responding to our voices by trying to open his eyes. I can definitely tell he's hearing us and wants to wake up.
On a lighter note, I had lunch today with Me-Mom, Andrew and some of Steve's friends and we had a lot of laughs. We had a blast remembering our favorite Steve stories and Steveisms and I know that is exactly the way he'd want it. The only person missing was Steve.
On a lighter note, I had lunch today with Me-Mom, Andrew and some of Steve's friends and we had a lot of laughs. We had a blast remembering our favorite Steve stories and Steveisms and I know that is exactly the way he'd want it. The only person missing was Steve.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Quick Update
I've been trying to get to the computer all day but it didn't work out until now. So much has happened in the last 24 hours. Last night Steve went into surgery to undergo the tracheostomy. While in surgery, Dr. Hanpeter also removed the bullet from Steve's upper back along with additional debris. Both procedures went very well. Steve is looking better without the breathing tube in his mouth even though he's still on the ventilator.
The really big news is that Steve was moved today to USC University Hospital for which we are extremely grateful. We loved the staff and care Steven received at Holy Cross but in order to have the perfect team of plastic and oral maxillofacial surgeons, Steven had to go to USC. However, we were very lucky that Dr. Hanpeter also has priveleges at USC so he is still Steve's main doctor which we are very happy about. All things considered, we are feeling very relieved to be here at USC with a great team of doctors and a good treatment plan and we are optimistic about Steve's recovery.
The really big news is that Steve was moved today to USC University Hospital for which we are extremely grateful. We loved the staff and care Steven received at Holy Cross but in order to have the perfect team of plastic and oral maxillofacial surgeons, Steven had to go to USC. However, we were very lucky that Dr. Hanpeter also has priveleges at USC so he is still Steve's main doctor which we are very happy about. All things considered, we are feeling very relieved to be here at USC with a great team of doctors and a good treatment plan and we are optimistic about Steve's recovery.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Little Signs
Andrew (Steve's son), Ashley (Andrew's girlfriend), Robin (Steve's Mom) and I went back to the hotel early this morning around 1:30 and got a few hours sleep. It's amazing what a little rest will do to improve your outlook. We returned to the hospital at 8 this morning and met with Steven's nurse, Karen. There were no changes and Steven did well throughout the night.
I got an encouraging sign from Steven that made me realize he hears us when we talk to him and his personality is very much alive and well inside his sleeping body. Thinking about all the things I wanted to tell him, I grabbed his hand and held it for a while. Then I told him that so much has happened and I couldn't wait until he was awake so I could tell him. At that moment he raised his left eyebrow as if to say, "No kidding!" I loved that.
We are awaiting the arrival of Dr. Hanpeter who is the main doctor, the trauma doctor who has been treating Steve from the beginning. Dr. Hanpeter mentioned yesterday that today Steve will likely have a follow-up CT scan of his chest and a brocoscopy to suction fluid out of his lungs.
Thank you all for the prayers...please keep them coming.
I got an encouraging sign from Steven that made me realize he hears us when we talk to him and his personality is very much alive and well inside his sleeping body. Thinking about all the things I wanted to tell him, I grabbed his hand and held it for a while. Then I told him that so much has happened and I couldn't wait until he was awake so I could tell him. At that moment he raised his left eyebrow as if to say, "No kidding!" I loved that.
We are awaiting the arrival of Dr. Hanpeter who is the main doctor, the trauma doctor who has been treating Steve from the beginning. Dr. Hanpeter mentioned yesterday that today Steve will likely have a follow-up CT scan of his chest and a brocoscopy to suction fluid out of his lungs.
Thank you all for the prayers...please keep them coming.
Critical But Stable
It's been a very long day and Steve remains in critical but stable condition. His doctors, nurses and respiratory therapists have been working around the clock to ensure Steve is receiving the very best medical care. We are thankful. Steve continues to be intubated but there were times today when he showed that his lungs are strong even though the machine is breathing for him. Although Steve is still heavily sedated, the doctor removed the paralytic from his IV and he is doing well without it. He is very swollen which is to be expected as they are pumping him full of fluid. The immediate plan is to perform a tracheostomy, insert a feeding tube, and wire his jaw shut, however, we're not sure when this will all be accomplished. Until then, we're taking it one moment at a time.
As for the Jenkins kids, they are so very brave but they miss Daddy. They have a lot of questions and we are telling them the truth in a way they can understand. Kylie asked, "What does the guy who shot Daddy look like? Does he have a long beard?" And Janie was explaining to Granny that Daddy couldn't come on the upcoming field trip. Granny was very sympathetic and then Janie exclaimed, "Even if he wasn't shot, he still couldn't go. The teacher didn't pick his name out of the hat." Ryan hasn't said much about all of this. He's been very quiet and satisfied to play his favorite video games. But at bed time tonight they cried and wanted to know why everyone else got to see Daddy and they couldn't. That was hard.
On behalf of Steven and the entire Jenkins, Merkovsky, Murphy and LAPD families, thank you for all the prayers and healing thoughts. We are grateful beyond words for the endless love and support we are receiving. I can't wait to share all of this with Steve.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Having Trouble Finding Words
I'm finding it very difficult to find words to describe the last 30 hours. I've been on auto pilot since 3:47 Monday morning when I got the call the Steve had been shot at work. It's been surreal, like an out of body experience. Instead of repeating what's already been said, I'll let the following link describe what happened:
http://www.ktla.com/videobeta/?watchId=3d001975-17a5-42a0-8577-4b65045a1142
Steve suffered two gunshot wounds, one to the right side of his face and one to his upper left chest. The bullet wound he sustained to his chest damaged a large vein, broke ribs, and punctured his lung. The gunshot wound he sustained to his face shattered his lower right jaw and will require reconstruction. He is holding his own, however, he is heavily sedated and intubated. We haven't talked to the doctor yet today but we know from yesterday's conversation that he will have a few procedures probably tomorrow. On behalf of our entire family, thank you all for the outpouring of support. We feel surrounded by love and nothing but healing thoughts and prayers.
http://www.ktla.com/videobeta/?watchId=3d001975-17a5-42a0-8577-4b65045a1142
Steve suffered two gunshot wounds, one to the right side of his face and one to his upper left chest. The bullet wound he sustained to his chest damaged a large vein, broke ribs, and punctured his lung. The gunshot wound he sustained to his face shattered his lower right jaw and will require reconstruction. He is holding his own, however, he is heavily sedated and intubated. We haven't talked to the doctor yet today but we know from yesterday's conversation that he will have a few procedures probably tomorrow. On behalf of our entire family, thank you all for the outpouring of support. We feel surrounded by love and nothing but healing thoughts and prayers.
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