Just in the last few hours, it seems as though Steve has made some real progress. I'm amazed at this process...such highs and lows. I'm finally starting to realize that the key to getting through this is acceptance. I have to accept that good moments will happen as well as the bad. And I have to let go of expectations and accept that this will take time.
Steve has been feverish all day and we both slept as much as we could (which wasn't much) this morning because we were exhausted from the events of the night. When Steve awoke around 11 am, he was trying desperately to communicate with me. Obviously, he couldn't speak because of the trach tube. And up until now, whenever we've tried to get Steven to write down what he was trying to tell us, he just couldn't write. His hand couldn't even really hold the pen. But he was SO frustrated with me this morning and I was equally frustrated with him. He was mad and rolling his eyes at me and I finally had to get tough with him. I told him, "I've had it with this! You're going to write whether you like it or not!" Begrudgingly he did it!!! It was messy and barely legible but he did it and I understood what he wrote! Hallelujah! All he wanted was to tell me to call home and find out if the kids went to school.
I have no idea what the next ten minutes or hour or day will bring. But I'm feeling very grateful right now, right in this moment.
24 comments:
Keep your strength up, you're doing great! Every hour of every day will bring you closer to healing. WLA Dets are thinking of you both.
Yay! Tough husband. TOUGHER Wife! Nothing creates change and progress better than good ol fashioned frustration! Keep him moving closer to you every day. And I'm glad the two of you are resting together. So SWEET! luv, jen.
Sister...I laughed and laughed and laughed when I read this simply because I could picture you getting tough with him. He was probably thinking "Holy Crap! I better get with the program!" Good for you! Tough love baby! I bet it feels really good to get something accomplished. Love you both and am praying constantly! xxxxooo Juli
Awesome job, Beth. Praying constantly.
Love,
Michelle
Your strength is amazing and I'm thinking and praying for you and your entire family daily. Best wishes to you and your family from SOE Divison.
Beth, we all love you and Matthew wanted me to tell you that he does not remember being mean and what he said to me when he came off his meds/steroids with his pneumonia 3 weeks ago. Steve will not as well and that will be great even though it is extremely hard for you and you will remember! You are strong and the love you share will conquer ALL!!! Thanks for all the support you and Steve gave me while I stayed with Matthew in the hospital. Luv you and see you in a few days, Joy
Awesome and great news....apologize that Rudy and I were the first faces he had to see the morning he woke up. Hopefully he wont remember that . GOD bless...
Beth: I know you have endured some tough episodes the last few days. However I continue to be in awe of your grace under such tremendous stress. As you have so eloquently captured it is about acceptance. You are blessed with a unique and powerful ability to maintain your poise under crisis and you possess a tremendous amount of emotional intelligence.
I had a great visit with him today. He had alot of his familiar mannerisms and expressions today. He was protecting me from the wrath of Wills and Lopez who were commenting on my stress eating...He was my hero..again~
Love u all....keep the faith you are an amazing family surrrounded by love.
Bob
That's what makes you such a perfect couple; you both adore each other but neither of you are afraid to tell the other what's what! Nice to have a little piece of normal. Love you!
That is so like Steve, just wanting to make sure the kids were going about their lives as normal as possible, while his life is anything but normal for him. But on a lighter side...hasn't anybody told him that Aunt Chris is there with the kids? If so, Steve wouldn't have to ask those questions because he would know that SHE has everything under control. LOL!
Take care all of you, we continue to keep you in our daily prayers and thoughts. XXXOOO
I am so glad you updating the LAPD family on a BLOG. Steve is a brother in blue ane I am so sad that has to go this suffering.
I hope you know that we are reading your blog and pray for Steve's recovery!
Sergeant Andy Garcia, #27045
We here at Olympic pray for him everyday for a speedy recovery. Please, stay strong and the faith of the Lord will guide you. God Bless you and your entire family!
Beth,
I am home next week on Spring Break, if at ANY time you could use me to help out with the kids in anyway - please let me or Jeff know. I can relieve anyone or help with the kids. I would be more than happy to help in that capacity - if it helps!
Leah Bratcher
To the Jenkins Family,
Our family's hearts and prayers go out to you all and particulary to Steve in hopes of a very speedy recovery and of the day you all can deal wiht this as just an awful memory.
We have not met, although our son is an LAPD Officer(P3) at Southeast Bureau and has met your son. He is currently on his way to Baker for the Baker to Vegas.
That said, when incidents such as this tragedy occur to our men an women in pulic safety positions who protect our daily lives, it angers, frightens, saddens us.
It also makes us so very thankful for what we have and terribly saddened for what the victim(in this instance Steve) and his or her family(in this instance you) have lost and will have to deal with for a very long time.
We have been following Steve's condiion from the day he was shot. If there is anything that my our family can do to be of assistance to you all, please just let us know.
Also, please give Steve our best wishes and our sincere thanks to both he and your family for the dedication and caring that you all have in your hearts for others, to do the dangereous job that you all engage in on a daily basis.
We are thankful also for the sensitivity and caring for the men and women of the LAPD that our friend Assisant Chief of Police Micael Moore had in making this blog site available to us in order for us to contact you all.
May God bless you and your family and from this day forward keep you all safe and restore to Steve the vigor, passion for life and health that we understood he enjoyed prior to the day of the shooting.
With much caring,
Lee Kanon Alpert, individually
Vice President
Providence, San Fernando Valley Regional Ministry Board
Arlene Sherry Alpert, individually
Community Volunteer, Haven Hills Shelter for Battered Women
Beth-
your 77th brothers and sisters read the blog daily and are hear to support you with whatever you need. get your rest too, you need to be strong for the both of you-
GOOD JOB! Just as understanding, and loving that you are you have to be tough on Steve.... TOUGH LOVE WORKS!!! I'm glad he was able to write what he was trying to tell you....
Praying for you,
Jen :)
Stay strong! We are all so thankful to have brave men and women like steve protecting us. my very best wishes!!
Continuing to send love and prayers your way!!!
77th loves and misses you! Your family is constantly in our prayers! Remember, we are all here for you!
77th loves and misses you! Your family is constantly in our prayers! Remember, we are all here for you!
Dear Beth,
On behalf of the residents of Los Angeles County, I send you my thoughts, prayers, and best wishes for Steve’s recovery. God bless you and your family.
LA County Supervisor Mike Antonovich
I have been reading your blog and praying for you and your family. I wished I could have seen you this morning, just know I am taking good care of your wonderful children while they are at school!
Hey Betty,
I wanted to let you know just how strong and courageous I think you are. You've faced so many monumental challenges and you've always come out on top. I know the word hero is thrown around a lot, but to me that is exactly what you are. I'm so proud to be your brother, and I only hope that if ever I have to face such extreme adversity that I can muster even a fraction of your strength. I know Steve is in good hands, and I know that he is every ounce the fighter that you are. That thought comforts me when things seem bleak. I look forward to the day we can gather together as a family with you, Steve, and the kids to eat and laugh about silly things, like Steve riding my bike up a very steep hill to surprise me on my birthday. I love you both very much.
Mac
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